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Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be

Title: The Gifts of Imperfection

Author: Brené Brown

Genre: nonfiction psychology self help

Summary: The Gifts of Imperfection is a guide to living your life wholeheartedly! It's about letting go of others expectations, expectations that you put on yourself, and just being who you are!

Thoughts about the book: I first learned about Brené Brown on the Therapy For Black Girls Podcast. I was binge-listening to their podcast and heard multiple therapists featured on the show recommend Brown's books. Out of her many books, The Gifts of Imperfection title spoke to me and has since been one of my favorite "get my life together" books ever.

I recently reread this book as a read-along with an audiobook and it was just as impactful as the first time I read it! There are so many awesome takeaways that I can't summarize them all, but below are a few of my favorite “aha moments”:

Dig Deep!

After each section of the book, Brown offers ways that we can DIG deep when we start to feel overwhelmed with life.

D: Get Deliberate- put your desires and dreams into the universe. This can be done through prayer, meditation or simply saying it out loud or writing it down in the affirmative.

I: Get Inspired- find excitement around your desires.

G: Get Going- Take action and execute.

Aha Moment: I love this DIG method because it gives me permission to reset whenever I’m not feeling it!

Play and Rest!

Brown talks about the importance of play and rest. Play is the act of doing sometime purposeless, fun, and something you actually WANT to do. Resting is healthy and needed for the body to reboot for the next day.

I am guilty of basing "my worthiness on my level of productivity". I’ve always been a pretty busy person, but I never really thought of how I associate my worthiness with how busy I am. It wasn’t until I read this book, during the Covid pandemic and quarantine in that I was forced to sit still, look in the mirror and call it like it is. I am no longer subscribing to the busy lifestyle, but a balanced lifestyle!

Aha Moment: I now strive to make my “busy work fulfilling”. I can do this by being true to what I WANT to do instead of committing to something I’m not passionate about or interested in.


The theme of worthiness was the most impactful for me while reading this book. I never really thought of how from day to day one can hustle for worthiness. I can think of some of my "if" statements that I would tell myself to measure when I would be worthy.

I would be worthy if I...

  • finished my degree

  • have a six-figure salary

  • lose 10 lbs.

  • get engaged and married

Aha Moment: I learned that worthiness has been conditional for me, as that you only can get it "if" you…., but the beauty of it all is that we are worthy right now, in this second, as we are!

Here’s what is truly at the heart of Wholeheartedness: Worthy now. Not if. Not when. We are worthy of love and belonging now. Right this minute. As is.

I would recommend this book to anyone who is feeling like they’ve missed the mark on their life timeline, for those with anxiety around the next steps in life, and for those who want to live their life to its fullest without letting yourself and expectations get in the way!

- Maya & The Spine Down



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Hi you guys, my name is Maya and welcome to The Spine Down!


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